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In that article, I explained my hypothesis that women are stuck in a double-bind between what they are told through modern social norms and their own biological motivation.
This week, I will discuss how that double-bind for women may have resulted in a double-bind for men as well.
The men that I speak with (and who commented on my last post) lament about being in a "no win situation" in modern dating.
If they follow what society tells them to do, they often end up "good guys" who are taken advantage of, mistreated, and disrespected.
Essentially, they seem to have to either appease social norms (for relationships and acceptance) or evolved standards of attractiveness (and get sexual fulfillment).
Furthermore, they do so in a situation where women's own social instruction may reduce the very characteristics that many of these men desire.
As a result, they may be punished by their girlfriend's/wife's lack of sexual interest, being cheated on, or disrespected as a "push over".
These men may further be regarded as "just friends"—expected to pay for all of the costs of a relationship, without the physical and intimate benefits (see here).
Welcome back to The Attraction Doctor Last week, I discussed why women can't find a "good" man (here).Unfortunately, these qualities are again part of women's double bind, with social norms sometimes guiding them away from these biologically feminine characteristics.So, until a new equilibrium is reached in these evolving social norms, men have difficult choices to make.When rewards outweigh punishment, people perform behaviors.When punishments weight more heavily, people avoid those same behaviors.
En español │After 20 years, you're single again and, heaven help you, on the brink of dating.